I won't dwell on the fact that I missed last year's birthday blog. I've never quite forgiven myself for it so you can be quite sure that even though I am exhausted in a way that threatens to make me crazy, I will not be passing up the opportunity to write tonight, on your 3rd birthday.
If I could only write one word to describe you over the past two years it would be, simply: JOY.
You have been the sweetest, the gentlest, most affectionate and the easiest going little-guy these past two years. So many things delight you and so few things get under your skin (really, there seems to be just one person who can do it effectively over and over again...).
You are so well-natured that nearly everyone that spends any time with you at all comments on just how pleasant you are. The Indian ladies at YMCA "camp" beam when you walk in the door because they know you'll just happily play with the trucks and let them know when you need your snack. Then you will sit contentedly at the table until you have finished. Ms. Judy and Ms. Amy, your Rolling 2s teachers secretly let me know that you were their favorite kid in the class. You have never had separation issues and usually send me out of the door by blowing a kiss and saying "see you later!" I've even heard you tell other kids who are upset that, "Mommas always come back." And when I come back to get you, the smile that spreads across your face as you rush into my arms nearly melts me into a puddle. I even tried to get this reaction on video tape once, which of course didn't work. I often take for granted the fact that I can drop you off just about anywhere with any one of my friends. And, in my line of work, that's such a relief.
You are eager to try new things; namely, things that involve swimming underwater. We think that because you made the passage from inside to outside in a tub of water, you've just always believed you could swim. This past summer, you even coined a phrase for a special swimming technique called "The Under Dog." Basically, you launch yourself out of an adult's arms and swim under water until someone picks you out. You never come up sputtering and always come out smiling. You are adventurous on playgrounds (we've already had one ER visit thanks to that sense of adventure. No stitches, but a small scar under your bottom lip to remind us) and believe that you can do anything that Marian can do. Usually, you can. You've just started taking choir lessons with Marian at church, even though you're a few years to young to really begin the lessons. But Mr. C., the director of the music program, was shocked to learn that you weren't even three yet. You listen and participate at least as well as most of the five year olds.
Marian is your best friend and the source of all aggravation. The two of you play so well together, which is something I only really appreciated once she was in kindergarten and I was home with you for about two weeks. The amount of time I spent on my hands and knees walking around pretending to be a cat or a lion or a dog was exhausting. Every morning, just after breakfast, the two of you disappear into the playroom and laugh and talk and create imaginary worlds together. I'm afraid I don't take the time to watch and marvel at the relationship that the two of you share. But in the evenings, when I walk up the stairs and find the two of you all curled up in one of your beds, I do find the time to stop and be thankful. In fact, I must have taken 50 pictures of the two of you alseep, sometimes holding hands, usually sharing one pillow. We never had any of the sleep issues with you that we had with Marian. You just happily go to bed, read a few books and drift off. I think the difference is, you have her lying beside you and that's an incredible source of comfort.
Of course, every once in a while (15 times daily, perhaps) all hell breaks loose between the two of you. I'm learning when to intervene and when to let the two of you work it out. I'll never forget the surprise of hearing Marian run away from you the first time you chased her, probably trying to bite her, the fear and panic in her voice was real and intense! I would say you hold your own very well.
A few nights ago, you crawled into bed with me in the middle of the night, something that happens on an almost nightly basis still. You always try to steal my pillow, which is why I have started to insist that you bring your own pillow with you when you come, but this night I was too lazy to get up and get yours. So we spent the night sharing a pillow and you reached out to make sure that both of your arms were encircling my neck in a giant hug. At first I was aggravated by the tight quarters and the constant touching. But it occurred to me that you are not always going to want to sleep an inch from my body, stroking my cheek and hugging my neck. I decided to drift off to sleep with the sweetest little arms in the world holding me tight. Even in the past few weeks, as you've approached the age of three, I've begun to notice that the spontaneous hug sessions and Momma-love are spacing out. And I imagine that I won't always be able to count on the fact that when we sit at the dinner table and say what we're grateful for that your go-to answer will be, "That Momma's here." But I am determined not to forget the way you melt my heart on a daily basis with your sweetness, your affection and joy.
I love you Jojo. I know that big changes can come when you turn three. The world can get more frustrating, you can start to throw tantrums in grocery stores, you may refuse to eat all the good vegetables and fruits you've eaten with gusto these past three years. And if these things happen, as they well might, I won't hold it against you. Afterall, I've had three years now with the easiest and happiest kid I can imagine. I'm due a few tantrums and fits. But I hope that the person you've been these last three years says something about the kind of person you will be when you're 20, 30, 40. I hope you will always find joy in every corner of the world, that you'll be anxious to try new things and never afraid to tell someone you love them --over and over and over again if they need to hear it.
Happy birthday, sweet boy. I love you to the ends of the earth and the top of the shower curtain. Thank you, thank you for being born to me.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
Kindergarten, Day One
When I was in either first or second grade, the teachers sent all of their students home with a little blue pamphlet. On the front cover was a set of stairs, each one marked with a number 1-12. I'm sure it was titled something like, "Stair Steps to Success!" or some other inane thing. I remember, so clearly, looking at those stairs and knowing that I was going to be in school for-ever. Each year seemed to last an eternity and I had a whole set of stairs to climb between now and 12th grade.And here's what a change in perspective can do for you. Today, you walked into that kindergarten room for the first time and I felt with a force equal to that of my love for you, that in a blink of an eye you would be all the way up those stairs and flying the coop.
There were no tears today, at least not as we said goodbye to one another at the door of Ms. Clayton's room (I'll admit that I did get a little choked up at the parent's coffee right after drop-off), but the emotions ran deep right under the surface. You showed so much bravery and gumption that I couldn't help but believe that everything was going to be just fine.
In fact, the first thing you said to me this morning as you dove into my bed was, "Happy first day of day school!" Realizing you had said something not-quite-right you then said, "I just like calling it that, it makes me feel better." It was like bridging the gap between Silver Spring Day School, your preschool, and kindergarten could be made just as easily as changing a few words around. Then you came downstairs and ordered an egg for breakfast, something we've been discussing recently is the need for a decent breakfast before school, which you ate without a lot of fuss.
I don't expect that every day will go so smoothly. In fact, I'm rather bracing myself for a firestorm tomorrow. You told me tonight that you planned to stay home with me tomorrow and then got pretty teary eyed when I explained that you would have to go to school. When you crawled into bed, you took with you the little note that I had tucked away in your lunch bag and with tears (which I think just might have been real) you told me that it would really make you feel good tomorrow if I would draw a picture of the two of us together. I'm no artist but I will make you a masterpiece tomorrow morning and I hope you will look at it and school and know just how much I love you. I hope I've prepared you well for your walk up the "stair steps" but I do hope you take it nice and slow from here.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
When I Turn Five...
Sometimes this past year, when you were merely four, you declared with certainty that when you were five years old you would no longer need a Momma and a Poppa. There are some days I believe you were right.You are an independent, fiesty and determined little girl. But, as we are now one week into this five year old thing, I am very relieved to find that, sometimes, when the stars are aligned just right, you still find comfort in a hug, kiss and "I love you so much" from a Momma. Anyway, it would be a real shame to send you out on your own now because there would be so much I miss.
I love hearing you construct elaborate make believe worlds and the way you include Joseph in your adventures. Sometimes, you even allow him to be the momma lion, taking care of you and growling at the dinosaurs that threaten to eat you up. I don't even mind that sometimes I turn my head for just an instant and when I spin back around, every cushion in the house has been re-purposed to create a store, a camp site or a crash site. You have a vivid imagination that spins on its own without input from me or anyone else.
Just last month I attended what will most assuredly be the first of many graduation ceremonies. And so much about what happened during the ceremony sums you up that I feel compelled to describe it in some detail. But in order to tell that story I must begin with the horror that was the tricycle accident.
The last week of school, it was a Thursday and I was co-oping, you were out on the playground at the end of the day and all of a sudden I heard you screaming. I ran over to you and immediately started looking for blood (I usually find it on the head, knees or elbows) but I didn't see it anywhere. I made a visual path down your body until I landed at your ankle and then saw "the horror." You had been sliced so deeply across the back of your heel that there was no blood, just a deep, deep gash into your Achilles. I felt faint, of course, but picked you up and carried you inside so that someone else could take another look at the injury; because, as I told anyone that would listen, I could NOT look at it again. Someone in the hall suggested that we were going to have to go to the emergency room. And, without missing a beat, you turned 25. All of a sudden you stuck out your little finger and yelled, "I am NOT GOING to HOLY CROSS HOSPITAL." Yep, you called it by name. When the word "stitches" was thrown about you had an ever-loving fit. Not once did you complain about the inches long gash on the back of your leg. So we loaded you up in the van, Ms. Lisa drove with us to the ER, and the two of you talked over the more uneventful aspects of your day. Then, when we got to the hospital, you allowed me to carry you in without much fuss. Every once in a while you would remind yourself that stitches were looming on the horizon and you would let out a bawl but for the most part you remained so calm. I remember sitting there, watching you color a princess castle with Ms. Lisa, and marveling at the way you were handling it all. I was only able to keep my composure because, somehow, you were keeping yours.
When the doctor came by to see the gash, he confirmed that you would need stitches. That's when you threw your finger out and said, "I don't like this one little bit. You tell him, you tell him I am NOT getting stitches. Take me home right now." In any other setting, it would have been funny. But I was so proud of the way you were advocating for yourself. And then I was just so sad that for all of your determination and verbal eloquence, we still had to get those damn stitches put in your leg.
The stitches were put in and we left on our trip to Colonial Williamsburg as planned. Then, for the better part of week, I carried you around from point A to point B. Every trip to the bathroom required assistance, every trip down the stairs in the morning was a challenge and I attended every day of school between the accident and graduation day just so I could help the teachers cart you around. That's why, when graduation day rolled around, I'd arranged for a small stroller that you could sit in and have one of your teachers push you down the aisle. Imagine my surprise, then, when you came walking down the aisle with your class! Honestly, why was I surprised...
There are a few things that are so awesome about you and some of those things also make it hard to be your mother. You are fiercely determined to do things the way you want to do them. Therefore, being the only kid pushed down the aisle was not going to work for you. However, just seconds later, you proved that you don't mind being different when you were the ONLY kid not to walk up to the front when Ms. Melanee called your name to receive your little diploma/poem. Apparently, you had told Ms. Melanee the day before that since you couldn't walk, she could just bring the diploma to you. Nevermind the fact that you had just practically skipped down the aisle, you meant you were not getting up to get the diploma. And then after the ceremony, I watched as your friends slung their arms around your shoulders and seemed to love just being around you. I think in many ways, you were the glue that held that little group together this year.
There are also time when your generosity astounds me. Poppa and I were recently at each other's throats about a gift card that went missing. You were asking us over and over again what a gift card is and finally, we stopped bickering long enough to tell you it was a little card that was like money. You left the room and a minute later returned with your piggy bank, offering it in outstretched hands to the two of us. That was a very effective way to stop an argument and left me weak in the knees with love for you.
I am more aware, this year than any other, that we traveled some rocky roads together. I know that you will become exactly the kind of woman I want to be friends with; but it's hard when that awesome woman is only five years old and I'm supposed to be parenting her. I guess my hope for this upcoming year is that you find the world around you a little less frustrating and a little more magical. I know it's tough to be little and feel so like you control so little. But I sometimes wish you would just sit back and enjoy the ride, it will be over before you know it.
And of course, there are big, big changes on your horizon. In just a month you will begin kindergarten. It's hard for me to fathom that someone else will spend more time with you than I do. Five years is not a long time to spend with someone (especially when they're your kid) and I constantly question whether I have done enough to prepare you for this initial leap from the nest. But if I know you, you will walk into that building with determination on day one and then you'll start running without looking back on day two.
It's been an awe-inspiring and challenging year. And I am beyond relieved that when asked last week whether you would be needing my services anymore, now that you're five, you just rolled your eyes like that was the craziest question you'd ever heard.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
On The Night You Were Born- Part 4
Sweet Girl,
From the day you were born perfect strangers would stop me on the street, take a look at you, and then say (with a kind of faraway look in their eyes), "it goes so fast." At first, I was annoyed by the interruptions, even a little hostile to the idea that someone would tell me how I was going to experience my time with you.
Oh little one, they were right.
How could it possibly be that tomorrow we will wake up and celebrate your fourth birthday? A few minutes ago I was changing your diaper and trying to snap up your onesie. Now you dress and put your sandals on the wrong feet all by yourself. You have ideas about fashion and food that every so often collide with my notions about the same and you've become a savvy negotiator. You have big ideas, you make up stories, you don't want me to stick around at play dates. All this happened so fast it makes my head spin. But I've always like hanging out with four-year-olds; they were my favorite age to babysit back in the day. What good fortune that I now have a live-in four year old!
This hasn't been the easiest year for your momma. We left Atlanta in September and moved back to the place you were born. It was a really, really hard move for me as I mourned the distance we would live from Mata and so many of our friends in Atlanta. I cried nightly about the fact that you would be leaving Glenn School and Anna Kate and Sara Harper. About the only thing that kept me glued together some days was the fact that you seemed to roll with all the changes so well. Packing your toys didn't faze you, saying final goodbyes to friends was a genuine, but not overly emotional, affair and you were excited about the possibilities in our new home. Your sense of adventure and flexibility got me through some rough days. It sounds crazy to say that I watched and learned from you; but I think that's what happened. I tried to see the exciting possibilities through your eyes, I got giddy when the potential of new, lasting friendships sprung up in our path and I tried to live in the present, with you as my role model. So thank you, Marian, for helping me through a tough time. And in the face of all my worrying, I sit here tonight writing from Mata's house (you're downstairs sleeping in her bed), preparing to send you to Glenn School camp tomorrow and gearing up for your birthday party with Sara Harper and Anna Kate tomorrow evening.
Since this blog seems to have turned into a birthday blog (alas) it seems like I should offer a broad outline of the past year. To say that you've spent the last year becoming more of who you are sounds odd but it feels right. When I look back and think about the year from two to three I see constant movement and bold steps forward in development. This year feels like the softer, gentler version of the year before. This is the year you put finesse on your language skills, built subtle interpersonal skills and discovered the ability to sit and entertain yourself for long stretches of time. I love to sneak into a room, or hide around a corner, when you're playing by yourself and just listen the worlds you create and marvel at your command of language. You often sound so grown up that it makes my heart ache a little bit.
You're still an avid observer of the world around you careful about jumping into new situations and meeting new people. I've stopped thinking of you as shy or bashful. Instead, as the woman who rang us up at Trader Joe's said this week, "it just shows that you have good sense not to talk to every person you meet for the first time." It doesn't take long to win you over, but you do take some time to watch and observe before you engage. Good sense, indeed.
You are crazy about play dates. Last year I wrote that every morning you woke up and wanted to know what we were going to do. This year, you wake up and want to know who you will play with. I try not to take it personally that you would prefer I not be present for your play dates. You have new friends at school and outside of school that have enriched our lives. You have become especially good friends with Naeem, also a newcomer to DC and the son of my new friend, Tanory. Naeem doesn't play well with every kid his age, he's what many old southern women would refer to as "a handful." But you, Marian, bring out the best in him. His parent's relief at having a friend who plays so well with him is evident every time we get together. I love that you have the patience and the skill to navigate a friendship that would be frustrating to many other kids your age.
Tomorrow we will have a dress-up/ballerina/pizza party at Mata's house. That's if you stop throwing up. You were feeling fine today, chasing Joseph around the house at full speed, when you suddenly stopped and starting puking. Later, through runny eyes you said, "I don't want to be sick on my birthday." Oh lord, please don't be sick on your birthday. The minute it was evident you were sick tonight I felt this incredible protective instinct kick in. I wanted to protect you from all the ill, from all the yuck and, most of all, from the disappointment of having your birthday party at camp and at the house tomorrow called off. This kind of desperate feeling is not unlike some of the feelings I felt in those first few days after you were born. It's a scary thing to hold a little tiny being in your hands and realize that you can't protect them from every cold germ, every sad goodbye and every bump and bruise along the way. But if you're lucky enough you get a kid who says, as you did tonight, "I don't want to make other people sick." If you're lucky enough you get a kid who can pick up where she left off with old friends and make new friends with ease. If you're lucky enough, you have a kid just like you.
I love you, Marian. If there's any justice in the world, you'll wake up feeling fit as a fiddle and ready for a cupcake.
From the day you were born perfect strangers would stop me on the street, take a look at you, and then say (with a kind of faraway look in their eyes), "it goes so fast." At first, I was annoyed by the interruptions, even a little hostile to the idea that someone would tell me how I was going to experience my time with you.
Oh little one, they were right.
How could it possibly be that tomorrow we will wake up and celebrate your fourth birthday? A few minutes ago I was changing your diaper and trying to snap up your onesie. Now you dress and put your sandals on the wrong feet all by yourself. You have ideas about fashion and food that every so often collide with my notions about the same and you've become a savvy negotiator. You have big ideas, you make up stories, you don't want me to stick around at play dates. All this happened so fast it makes my head spin. But I've always like hanging out with four-year-olds; they were my favorite age to babysit back in the day. What good fortune that I now have a live-in four year old!
This hasn't been the easiest year for your momma. We left Atlanta in September and moved back to the place you were born. It was a really, really hard move for me as I mourned the distance we would live from Mata and so many of our friends in Atlanta. I cried nightly about the fact that you would be leaving Glenn School and Anna Kate and Sara Harper. About the only thing that kept me glued together some days was the fact that you seemed to roll with all the changes so well. Packing your toys didn't faze you, saying final goodbyes to friends was a genuine, but not overly emotional, affair and you were excited about the possibilities in our new home. Your sense of adventure and flexibility got me through some rough days. It sounds crazy to say that I watched and learned from you; but I think that's what happened. I tried to see the exciting possibilities through your eyes, I got giddy when the potential of new, lasting friendships sprung up in our path and I tried to live in the present, with you as my role model. So thank you, Marian, for helping me through a tough time. And in the face of all my worrying, I sit here tonight writing from Mata's house (you're downstairs sleeping in her bed), preparing to send you to Glenn School camp tomorrow and gearing up for your birthday party with Sara Harper and Anna Kate tomorrow evening.
Since this blog seems to have turned into a birthday blog (alas) it seems like I should offer a broad outline of the past year. To say that you've spent the last year becoming more of who you are sounds odd but it feels right. When I look back and think about the year from two to three I see constant movement and bold steps forward in development. This year feels like the softer, gentler version of the year before. This is the year you put finesse on your language skills, built subtle interpersonal skills and discovered the ability to sit and entertain yourself for long stretches of time. I love to sneak into a room, or hide around a corner, when you're playing by yourself and just listen the worlds you create and marvel at your command of language. You often sound so grown up that it makes my heart ache a little bit.
You're still an avid observer of the world around you careful about jumping into new situations and meeting new people. I've stopped thinking of you as shy or bashful. Instead, as the woman who rang us up at Trader Joe's said this week, "it just shows that you have good sense not to talk to every person you meet for the first time." It doesn't take long to win you over, but you do take some time to watch and observe before you engage. Good sense, indeed.
You are crazy about play dates. Last year I wrote that every morning you woke up and wanted to know what we were going to do. This year, you wake up and want to know who you will play with. I try not to take it personally that you would prefer I not be present for your play dates. You have new friends at school and outside of school that have enriched our lives. You have become especially good friends with Naeem, also a newcomer to DC and the son of my new friend, Tanory. Naeem doesn't play well with every kid his age, he's what many old southern women would refer to as "a handful." But you, Marian, bring out the best in him. His parent's relief at having a friend who plays so well with him is evident every time we get together. I love that you have the patience and the skill to navigate a friendship that would be frustrating to many other kids your age.
Tomorrow we will have a dress-up/ballerina/pizza party at Mata's house. That's if you stop throwing up. You were feeling fine today, chasing Joseph around the house at full speed, when you suddenly stopped and starting puking. Later, through runny eyes you said, "I don't want to be sick on my birthday." Oh lord, please don't be sick on your birthday. The minute it was evident you were sick tonight I felt this incredible protective instinct kick in. I wanted to protect you from all the ill, from all the yuck and, most of all, from the disappointment of having your birthday party at camp and at the house tomorrow called off. This kind of desperate feeling is not unlike some of the feelings I felt in those first few days after you were born. It's a scary thing to hold a little tiny being in your hands and realize that you can't protect them from every cold germ, every sad goodbye and every bump and bruise along the way. But if you're lucky enough you get a kid who says, as you did tonight, "I don't want to make other people sick." If you're lucky enough you get a kid who can pick up where she left off with old friends and make new friends with ease. If you're lucky enough, you have a kid just like you.
I love you, Marian. If there's any justice in the world, you'll wake up feeling fit as a fiddle and ready for a cupcake.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
1:23 on the 4th
Joseph, it doesn't appear that I'm going to be able to stay awake until you turn one. We have traveled a long way over the course of the past two days and I think the road weariness has caught up with all of us.
Tonight we are back in Atlanta, with the exception of Poppa who just got off a plane in Washington, D.C. This is the town of your birth so it does feel right to be back on Zimmer Drive where so much of the action took place. Earlier this evening, when I had you on my hip on a trip out to the van to find our sheets, I decided to retrace a few of my steps from this time one year ago. Your Poppa, sister, Peanut and I took one last good walk just before we decided it was time to head to the hospital. Tonight, I held you in my arms as I made that same short journey up the street. I sang a little song as we went along -- you do like music -- and briefly told you the story of your birth. I thanked you for making the trip so easy on me and told you how happy I was that you decided it was time to come out and see your momma's face.
Your birth still feels like a miracle to me. It seemed one minute I was wandering through labor thinking you might never come and the next minute, you were practically here. I say practically because I remember quite clearly thinking, as I was pushing, that there was just no way this (meaning YOU) were going to come out. Many studies show that women are able to remember details of the births of their children with the same amount of clarity no matter how many years have passed since the actual event. I hope that this is true; there are a few memories that I would want with me at the very end. The birth of you and your sister are the two that I would hold onto with dear life. I can remember the sensation of the warm water lapping against us as I held you against my chest, the sound of you voice (loud!) and the joyful surprise of finding you a boy. I was nearly certain you would be a girl.
One year has gone by at the speed of light. I said just tonight that it feels like you've always been here, or at the very least you've been around ten years or so. But the fact that you don't say many words (other than "ut-oh" which was your very first and still your most distinct word) and you're a little unsteady on your feet (but you are most certainly walking more than you are crawling) betray the fact that you've only been with us a short while. Still, it seems like I've known you longer than this.
You are such a happy little person, already you seem to find it easy to be entertained by a leaf on the floor, the sound of a spoon banging on a table or whatever it is Marian is doing at the moment. She makes you laugh like none other and the sound of two children laughing together has got to be one of the sweetest in the world. When she does something that makes you laugh I think my heart might explode. Your smile is impossible to turn away from and your eyes smile as often as your mouth. Sometimes, when you are nursing, I will tell you have stinky feet just to watch the corner of your eyes crinkle up in laughter. You think that's hilarious. Sometimes, I'm actually telling the truth.
I've almost made it to midnight. But it's time to turn in for the evening because we have celebrating ahead of us tomorrow, a continuation of today's four-generations birthday party. I love you beyond any ability to put it into words. I will continue to try, however, each time I pull you in close and kiss your neck. You are my sweet baby boy and this year has been a gift (and sometimes, I'll admit, a challenge). You are mine and I am yours forever and ever. Happy birth-day, thank you so much for finding your way to me.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
On The Night You Were Born- Take 3

I just arrived home from a childbirth class, hoping to wrap up my doula certification before my two-year deadline passes. It wasn't until I was pulling away from class tonight and caught a glimpse of lightening across the sky that I realized that I might have shared with all these anxious women where I was three years ago tonight. Funny, it was the streak across the sky that reminded me of sitting in a bathtub in D.C. watching a storm roll in and out as I waited for you to arrive.
The past year has been miraculous. I'm not sure what I expected from a two-year-old but I know I'm writing this tonight simply amazed by what you've turned into and how you've grown. Since I've done such a poor job at keeping this blog, I'll offer a few general observations about the past year and things I've learned from you.
You love to go. Nearly every morning when you wake up the first question you ask is, "Momma, where are we going today?" Of course, you have your favorite places, the park in particular, but you are happy to hear we're going anywhere. You love the grocery store (Trader Joe's is a true destination) and if we slip into Richard's Variety Store you nearly explode with excitement. I love that so many places can be of interest and that you are able to find the unique in the ordinary.
This past weekend we went on a hike in the Smoky Mountains with our friends Roy, Julie and their twin girls Riley and Frances (8.5 year olds). The hike wasn't terribly strenuous but it was hot and we made a short trip last a long time with continuous side trips off the trail into the mountain stream where moss covered rocks made easy paths from bank to bank. You had the stamina of a mountain goat and you were so eager to get in the water and climb the big rocks. I've mentioned before that you seem to take after your father when it comes to aversions to sticking to well marked paths. This trait does not seem to be fading away the older you get. I did tell Poppa that if you end up free diving or rock climbing without ropes, I will blame him entirely.
You have a way with words. There were times this past year when I couldn’t imagine that the words I heard coming out of your mouth were really yours. Like the time, several months ago when you were outside swinging from the magnolia tree and you looked at me and said, “that’s really unattractive.” It wasn’t really the words that surprised me but it was the pitch perfect delivery. The sponge metaphor is overused but it holds true; you soak in everything and find ways to use your newly minted vocabulary whenever possible.
One of the greatest developments recently is your love for make-believe. You’ve started naming things and using made-up words to describe things when you can’t easily think of the appropriate word. Your favorite names, at the moment, are Poinky, Sota, and Hader (sounds a little like Hater but you assured me the other day that your dog, Hader, was not grouchy). In an interesting twist, you’ve decided that Joseph’s name is Marshall. The genesis of this name is a complete mystery to me but you’ve stuck by it steadfastly. One day when we were playing make-believe and I told you that my name was Poinky and my little boy was named Marshall you dropped your jaw and exclaimed, “I have a brother named Marshall, too!”
You are a good friend. Our first parent-teacher conference was such a joy. I’m afraid that each child is allotted only a handful of perfect parent-teacher conferences and I would hate to have you peak too early. But for a first preschool conference, I couldn’t have asked for more. Your teachers said that you are the kid that most often engages other children in play; that if one of the children is having a tough day and finding it hard to plug in they will often tell him or her to find you and join in your activity. I have watched your friendships develop over the past year and I have been so impressed with your patience, your willingness to share and your compassion. I see other children gravitating to you and I watch the way you welcome them to play with you. Granted, you are a cautious observer yourself initially, but once the ice is broken you are a ton of fun to be around. We have been lucky to find such good friends for you. Then again, maybe you found them yourself.
Each day that I get to spend mothering you is a blessing—the very definition of grace. Sure, we have our moments. It turns out you have a bit of a stubborn streak and are willfully independent (secretly, I treasure these traits as well, even though I can’t afford to encourage them on a daily basis). But the feel of your hand in mine as we cross a street, your arms around my neck for a good night hug or your smile first thing in the morning are gifts beyond measure.
Happy Birthday, Marian. I love you to the moon and the stars (and, as you sometimes offer, “all the way up to the shower curtain”).
Monday, February 15, 2010
Laughing Matters
Once again, I'm writing from the living room at Nona and Granddaddy's house. This does not bode well for the future of the blog since the last time we were here was six weeks ago and I'm not sure when we're scheduled to be back. I must learn to write from our house.
We are here for our third annual Mardi Gras trip and it's fun to watch you, Marian, figure out how to score loot. We went to the Pass Christian parade yesterday and you were not at all certain that it was going to be fun. But a few shiny neck bobbles and one stuffed bear handed to you directly from someone on a float, seemed to change your attitude. By the time we left, you were running back and forth from the curb by yourself and sitting comfortably atop your Poppa's shoulders waving your hands above your head and saying, "Throw me some beads, mister!" Joe, you fed and slept through the whole affair.
Marian, you are a devoted and loving older sister. Whatever we expected from you, jealousy or indifference, has not come to pass. Joe is who you reach for when you wake up and who you demand to kiss before going to bed. Joe-Boy, a name you've coined, is equally devoted to you; although he seems to know when you've hit manic territory and has perfected his "get me out of here, now, and I mean it!" scream.
It is fascinating and heart warming to watch your relationship develop. Yesterday, as we drove back from the parade and Joe was screaming at the top of his lungs, I asked you to sing to him. Within minutes he was happy, a wide grin stretched across his face, as you clapped and made funny faces. You seem to be able to turn his mood around better than anyone and every time it happens if feels like the world rights itself and peace settles in.
Joe, you laughed for the first time on your three month birthday. This is,to the day, the exact same time that Marian laughed. We didn't catch that first giggle on video but we did catch your first laughing fit and as that's what I've posted here. There are no words to describe what happens to parents when they hear that sweet sound for the first time. It's an explosion; literally, it feels like your chest might just burst open. And it feels like that the fifth, sixth and tenth time too. You laughter stops time.
Two babies has pushed me to the brink of sanity several times. In fact, your Poppa will tell you that on his first day back at work full-time in January I called him in tears. Every parent of more than one child has warned me that it's way more than two times the work. But it's also full of more than two times the wonder and joy. I am thankful, every minute, for this bounty.
We are here for our third annual Mardi Gras trip and it's fun to watch you, Marian, figure out how to score loot. We went to the Pass Christian parade yesterday and you were not at all certain that it was going to be fun. But a few shiny neck bobbles and one stuffed bear handed to you directly from someone on a float, seemed to change your attitude. By the time we left, you were running back and forth from the curb by yourself and sitting comfortably atop your Poppa's shoulders waving your hands above your head and saying, "Throw me some beads, mister!" Joe, you fed and slept through the whole affair.
Marian, you are a devoted and loving older sister. Whatever we expected from you, jealousy or indifference, has not come to pass. Joe is who you reach for when you wake up and who you demand to kiss before going to bed. Joe-Boy, a name you've coined, is equally devoted to you; although he seems to know when you've hit manic territory and has perfected his "get me out of here, now, and I mean it!" scream.
It is fascinating and heart warming to watch your relationship develop. Yesterday, as we drove back from the parade and Joe was screaming at the top of his lungs, I asked you to sing to him. Within minutes he was happy, a wide grin stretched across his face, as you clapped and made funny faces. You seem to be able to turn his mood around better than anyone and every time it happens if feels like the world rights itself and peace settles in.
Joe, you laughed for the first time on your three month birthday. This is,to the day, the exact same time that Marian laughed. We didn't catch that first giggle on video but we did catch your first laughing fit and as that's what I've posted here. There are no words to describe what happens to parents when they hear that sweet sound for the first time. It's an explosion; literally, it feels like your chest might just burst open. And it feels like that the fifth, sixth and tenth time too. You laughter stops time.
Two babies has pushed me to the brink of sanity several times. In fact, your Poppa will tell you that on his first day back at work full-time in January I called him in tears. Every parent of more than one child has warned me that it's way more than two times the work. But it's also full of more than two times the wonder and joy. I am thankful, every minute, for this bounty.
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